Leaving

These past two weeks have been a whirlwind. Week before last I had to wrap up my work at Christ Church and say good bye (for now) to all of the students. I didn’t realize how much I would miss them, or how sorry I would be that I will miss this next year of their lives. By this time next year some will be in new grades, or schools. Some will get their first kiss, their first bad grade, their first brush with a truancy officer, haha! Bands will come and go through rocketown. Kids who have never felt at home will find refuge in the friendly skaters who fly through the cafe, grabbing a free slice of pizza on their way out. 

Last week I was driving back and forth from Jacksonville to visit friends. It was so good to see their faces and laugh with them again. I feel so blessed they're are in my life and I in theirs. Many have graduated, or met someone they’ve fallen in love with. Wednesday night I thought about how in a year's time even more will change. But for now I was happy soaking in all of their goodness; A warm memory for what will surely be a cold English winter. 

Then I drove over to Sebring to spend one last visit with my dad. It was a really great visit.  The drive was smooth except for some frequent hurrican-like-driving conditions I endured more than once along the trip. But when the rain subdued, and I could once again hear John Mayers jazzy guitar riffs, the road was calm, even peaceful. I forget sometimes how beautiful Florida is until you see the foliage. So much of the city has paved over. And the sky! The sky is SO big in the middle of state! When the rain cleared I could see that the clouds had run together like a smudgy water color painting. Instead of being gray, they were purple. The sun was weighing heavy, making its trip to the other side of the world. It was amazing because it looked exactly like those drawings of sunsets children do with their whittled-down crayons, so small and flat from frenzied coloring that everything comes out a bit more smudgy. Their was a half circle ball of orange, surrounded by blurry rays of red and pink. Noticing the sunset, it was one of those rare-silent moments when you truly appreciate God’s presence in the world. 

Yesterday, my mom helped me pack and we learned all about “Hope South Florida”. Im so excited for our community, this is truly going to create God-centered comunity. But back to my mom, I am going to miss her soooo much! For those of you who know my mom, you know she is not only caring, but funny, smart, hardworking, selfless, etc, etc, etc... I always used to think for every one good quality a person possessed, their was a bad one waiting in the wings to balance it out. But that’s just not true. Some people are saintly, not perfect, but full of love. I will see her in 3 weeks, so I don’t want to go all gushy now; but, my cup runneth over.

Last night at worship we sang “Lord, we want to follow you.” This morning I woke up feeling inclined for anything but wanting to follow. In fact, I confess to you, my first thought was: “oh crap, I don’t want go.” However, like my friendly Puerto Rican fellow-passenger reminded me, “nobodys making you go but you, so you should really get over it!" I agree. Because of all the things that will change this year, God will not. He is constant, and Oh how he loves us. 

I realize now He is the hope I'm so desperately trying to wrap my greedy little fingers around. Like a baseball fanatic sitting in the nosebleed section, straining to catch a foul ball. My hope is in the fact that God is in fort lauderdale, jacksonville, sebring, chicago and Bradford. He’ll be present for all the things I’ll miss, and is ahead of me for all the things yet to come. he fills in the void. Like the clouds on my drive, he blurs the edges and fills the gaps with a brilliant purple.  

(soon to come: "Jesus People" you're not gonna want to miss it!)