Dear Diary...

I realize I have been updating alot, which is why I am even more overjoyed how consistently people are leaving me comments! I really appreciate your thoughts, on my thoughts, as it were... Today Bethany, Marie and I are visited our schools and soon we're leaving to attend a 24 hr seminar on Christian/Muslim relations... or something. We’re not quite sure what it entails. So, what Im thinking is, I wont be updating for a few days. And, since I’ll I’ve done in the past day or so is salt some slugs, I thought I might leave you with a reflection I wrote in my (personal) journal durring orientation in Chicago. 

Dear Diary, 

(I didn’t actually write “dear diary,” but I have inserted it here for dramatic affect...)

This has been my favorite week in Chicago so far. After talking to Jeff Konechzny the other night, I decided to take his advice and stop caring what other people think. All day long I re-run it through my mind, “It doesn’t matter what other people think, It doesn’t matter what other people think, It doesn’t matter what other people think...” It really seems to have made a difference, if just a small one.

Monday we did our day of hospitality; We sang at the nursing home and had dinner with Tarran and Candy. What an amazing experience!

Yesterday I washed walls in the “Hannah’s House” cafeteria. 

(One of JPUSA’s homeless shelters for single women with children)

As I washed, I imagined Jesus beside me. 

In one motion he took off his tunic and began using it to scrub the dirt. We talked for an hour about everything under the sun: travel, Chicago, the fear of growing old, true love, the Cubs, art, food... Jesus has an eclectic taste in almost everything, as it turns out. And in a strange way, I didn’t feel like I was doing most of the talking.

It made me smile as I remembered our old conversations...

Reading through some of my entries from orientation, this one stuck out to me. I suppose it’s because it was the closest I felt to Christ while I was there. It’s truly amazing how Jesus always shows up when you’re serving someone other than yourself. 

I also remember thinking when I wrote this how many converstions are yet to come. And they probably wont come by reading a “thoughtful” Christian book, or some other conventional way of tapping into wisdom.

They will probably happen as a result of silence, self sacrifice, fleeting moments of humilty... 

How will God reveal himself to me this year? What will our relationship look like at the end of this year? Because that’s what I want - a relationship. I don’t really want my questions answered (although it would be nice), and I don’t really want a huge revelation, or wisdom passed down from on high... I wan’t to be like a sheep in the gosple of Matthew, who recognizes the masters voice when He calls. 

I want to fall in love with God; the deep, world changing, sickening, giggly, annoying kind of love that causes people to turn their heads when they see you and wonder, what are you so damn happy about?