The Non-Existent Waiting Room

Days until Chicago: 60

"For one human being to love another; that is perhaps the most difficult of all our tasks, the ultimate, the last test and proof, the work for which all other work is but preparation." -Rainer Maria Rilke

I'm a shameless Rilke fan and now many of you can see why. How brilliant is that quote? It's brilliant because deep in our bones we know it to be true. What matters in the end won't be how many hours we spent at our job, or how bad we felt when an ad about child starvation came on television; God will ask us if we loved people well. And if what ultimately matters is love, and we aren't actively finding opportunities to love our neighbors and enemies, then what are we doing? I would argue, whatever it is, it's not what Jesus says leads to the life that is truly life.

 

Originally when I read this quote, I began to imagine what I'm doing now -working as a youth pastor- as preparation for the love I will ultimately do through service in England. This was an insightful and comforting thought, until I realized I was treating this time like a useless afternoon spent in a waiting room. As if the opportunities to love people happen in 3 months and until then I'm stuck busying myself with old magazines and crossword puzzles. But I don't think life is a waiting room between big events. Meaningful moments that make up a life may -in fact- be composed of little-everyday-decisions. If I flip this quote on it's head and say love is in the preparation itself, then loving people becomes an opportunity present in every moment, ready-or-not! I mean... this is my life; It began when I was born, it will end when I die, and there is no proverbial waiting room in between. The waiting room doesn't exist!
 
Rambling aside... what I'm thinking about now is: how can I love someone here and now? I believe God gives us endless choices everyday -to be joyful or cynical, kind or careless, forgiving or bitter, loving or apathetic- and trusts us to choose as we wish. But if you are waiting to choose joy, kindness, forgiveness, and love for Sunday mornings, or mission trips, or whatever time it is you're especially conscious of these things, you miss thousands of opportunities. And they don't have to be grand gestures; Mother Theresa said "We can do no great things, only small things with great love." I pose this to you, what will you do this afternoon to love someone in the very places you will spend your time today?
 
What will I do this afternoon?? I will...
Get someone coffee
Ask someone how they're doing with sincere interest
Be joyful doing mundane tasks
Let cars merge ahead of me
Make my mom dinner tonight, and maybe even do the dishes!
 
Grace and Peace,
Leigh

England.

I am going to live in England for ten months! When I first found out where I was being sent (2 days ago), I was REALLY excited. But as I let things sink in, I actually felt let down. For six months I have been dreaming about South Africa. My whole life, the one place I’ve always known I want to go before I die is Africa. I’ve been fortunate enough to visit London, and while I thought it was beautiful and interesting, it was very similar to the U.S.. At first I felt selfish for being disappointed... but I talked to my mentor yesterday, and when I told her I was going to England she immediately knew it couldn’t have been my first choice. She told me it was alright to be disappointed; sometimes life doesn’t turn out how we want it to, and it’s ok to mourn that. So while England is a bit of a disappointment, and I will surely envy those team members going to Africa, I must focus on God’s role in all of this. I'm not sure if God ordains certain things to happen -although the bible does say He has plans for us- but I do believe God, though He may not pre-ordain events, He can use them for good. I suppose my fear is that I will not get the chance to travel somewhere as far and exotic as Africa in the future... but yesterday my mom promised me that someday we would visit South Africa and she does not disappoint. 

Wow, England. Land of Kings, Queens, Coldplay and Monty Python. Apparently I will be living in Bradford, a suburb of Manchester. Google maps says it’s close to Scotland (home of Ewin McGregor, mmm...). A tourism website I found also says it is the home of the Bronte sisters (Charlotte/Emily- they wrote Jane Eyre and Wuthering Heights) Apparently it is also the media capital of England (next to London I’m sure). The one thing I am particularly excited about, is Christmas in England. Perhaps it is a Christmas movie delusion, but Christmas in England seems magical. I don’t know if it’s because of the snow covered cathedrals, or perhaps because it’s the singular time year when the English are actually happy it’s cold. Still, Christmas in England sounds like a dream...

Many surprising thoughts occurring to me all at once. The minute I turned in an application for Radical Journey I knew I would miss my family and friends. However, I didn’t realize how much I would miss America. I don’t mean this in the sort of over-sentimentalized-patriotic way that Glenn Beck cries about on a daily basis. I'm going to miss it because it’s home. The people... church... the youth... My history is here. In a way I feel like I don’t make sense without this good-ol’ fashion American dirt under my feet. And now that I know I wont be basking in the warm glow of South Africa, I feel this nagging reluctance to leave sunny Florida! Truth be told, I haven’t been to the beach once in the past 5 months... but I know it is there! And everyday when I ride my bike to work, I can feel the wind on my face; wind I know is coming off the ocean, which is  only a mile away. Even Buster who is forced to wear an irremovable fur coat spends most of his time laying in the sun. I’ll miss swimming and playing noodle ball with the youth group. I’ll miss the Sun Sentinel guys with their pink t-shirts and leathery skin. I’ll miss the state-wide panic attacks when the temperature drops below 70. I’ll miss pink and orange sunsets over the houses in my neighborhood. But mostly I’ll miss America because it is home to all the people I love.